I will die if light touches me.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize