I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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