It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
