Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
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