my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
