I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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