The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
