i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
