Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
