youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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