btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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