I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
