Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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