So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
