She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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