omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
