Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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