You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
