if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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