Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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