and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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