My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
