Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
