I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
whose ass print is on the piano?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
