I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
