it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
