I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Randomize
