maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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