glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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