I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
