Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i came on her dog
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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