it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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