Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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