My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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