Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
