Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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