There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
