I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
