I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
