this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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