WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
