Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
