my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize