and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
