He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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