return my video game
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
