You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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