So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
