My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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