We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Vodka?
Forever.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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