We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
