Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
