u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
