i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
my god I love twenty year old dicks
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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