I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
