She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize