So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
